I hear the weathers nice in California......................

I feel like this week I am finally coming out of the haze.  Last week was simply a blur.  I didn’t get much done and did mainly as I pleased.  I can honestly describe my feelings last week as a mix between a broken heart and a death in the family.  There were points that I think I could have cried a river.  This week I feel like a human being again.  That is a refreshing feeling and once again I feel hope. I know we made the right decision and sometimes at the end of the day that is what you have to have confidence in.

I can tell you that I simply would not have made it thru many of the points of this journey without my family. Many of our friends have started families and there just simply isn’t the time that there used to be for their company.  I know that many are there and will be there and I sincerely appreciate the gestures we received this past week.  There have been two people in this journey that I simply do not know how I would have made it without them….my cousins. I have referred to them a few times in this blog as my faux sisters. 

My little cousin, Jessica, told me she thinks this was a step in our path because God was getting us ready.  She made a valid point.  I have gone thru the motions in this process but I haven’t really mentally prepared for getting that phone call and what happens next.  When I did get that phone call…I was a mess.  We also now have an idea of how this process works when we get picked.  So now we know the questions to ask, the process, and just how to absorb it all.  

Today was a date I had marked on the calendar for the last few weeks.  It wasn’t a date I was looking forward too because it was a day I knew I was going to have to say goodbye to one of my nearest and dearest.   I grew up with a very close knit family and we all lived relatively close to each other.  We also spent way too much time together too!  The day after Critt and I married, six years ago, my aunt and two cousins moved to Los Angeles.  After three years, Audra got transferred with her job to Nashville.  A few weeks ago she found out she would be going back home to LA.

Last week when I was so upset, Audra drove in and spent a few days at our grandmothers.  We spent Thursday afternoon doing what I needed most….laughing.  It was those moments of shopping, eating, a few drinks, telling stories and catching up that made me feel normal again.  Audra is simply one of the kindest souls there is and she loves with her whole heart.  She gives of her entire self and simply is one of the best listeners I know.

Yesterday, my grandmother cooked a huge carb ridden meal since we were all together.  So I had the whole day to spend with my three cousins and it was simply wonderful.   We didn’t do much of anything but it was just the rare opportunity of all being in the same time zone again!

This morning there was more tears as we said our farewells.  Audra and her brother Pierce began their cross country trip back to LA.  Today wasn’t really tears of sadness.  They were more of love and wishing her luck on following her own dreams.  Part of me selfishly wanted her to stay and be here when baby Hudson does arrive.  She assures me though that she is just a plane ride away.  Tonight they are somewhere in Kansas on their road trip.  I know she will be reading this.  I want you guys to know how much I will miss you both. I am blessed not only have you as a cousin but as one of my best friends.  Thank you for always being there.  Safe travels and I wish you all the happiness there is!  See you soon!

Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I'll miss you
until we meet again!
~Author Unknown

On a completely different note,  we are headed to New York City at the end of the week.  Can't wait!!!!  I am so excited for a much needed trip and a new adventure ourselves.

J